Poems
by PudLea
Summary: Pretty much just a bunch of poems i wrote. Some were from the time of a divorice and are pretty intense but i don't cut myself...pinkie promise.
1. Love

**ok people...this is not a disclaimer, but a claimer: I own all of these.**

love

the sinking feeling  
that fear only feeds the pain  
it's just a matter of time  
before mistakes are made  
before love happens again.

it's just a delusion  
a lie to get inside  
to bore through the soft flesh  
of another ones heart.

the termites that terminate  
they degenerate, disintegrate  
left alone and cold  
the bleeding feeling of pain  
of a longing not untold.

and yet waiting for the day  
when the butterfly wings unfold.  
when all the sunshine falls  
upon the body  
when all the happiness  
devours the mind.

all the good comes from one smile  
all the time could never be the while.  
its just not fair that longing always turns into despair.

tragedy is not without tomorrow  
the smile is not without sorrow.  
it's just another day spent  
just another one night event . . .

love is a delusion  
and maybe we all long to be  
delirious . . . devoted, enveloped.

it's with sinking fear  
that pain is longing  
for that certain feeling  
of utter despair.


	2. Life

Life

There's a poem in my head  
And lest I forget,  
I gotta write it down now,  
Cause no regret

The gash across your face  
breeds lies of reality,  
Openly and honestly  
Quietly, poison

Before I die,  
I wanna live . . .  
Like I have something to die for  
Have something to need

With collapsing nightmares  
, Come collapsing dreams,  
Nothings what it seems  
It's poison, poison

The door's hanging wide open,  
Deadbolt broken,  
Graves on the other side  
Made me cry.

As I lay thinking,  
For hours in my bed  
It quickly came and went,  
Left another dent,  
In the shell that holds in,  
My feelings and emotions

Now I'm cold again  
Slightly twisted, and,  
Maybe a little dead,  
But it's okay . . .  
I never felt anything anyway


	3. Carnation

Carnation

wilting flower,  
on my bed,  
you retain your story true

a carnation,  
for false love  
i remember your brightest hue

big pretender,  
nothing real  
showed me nothing but a lie,

and this red vivid carnation,  
stood for nothing, now i sigh

i knew not,  
who you were,  
time's gone by,  
flowers die.

i still keep you,  
wilting flower,  
i remember your story too

'twas a story of false love,  
but the truth is,  
i lied too


	4. It Was You

it was you

I tried looking through the paper once  
But there was only a black void  
The one I'd seen so often

I listened to the scratching of the pen  
And heard nothing but the lonely silence  
I was so accustomed to

The ink's dark smell  
Filled the room I crept in, slept in  
Every night I'd fall deeper to its trance

Parasitic poems  
Leeched off of my heart  
And so it blackened and grew heavy

'Til the day I let it flow  
When the colors flooded back  
And I looked into the paper  
Listened to the scratching  
I could see the darkness fading  
There was sound now  
(It was you . . .)  
There was someone  
(It was you . . .)

So I woke up from the nightmare  
Just to fall into the dream  
And I hope to live within it  
'Cause it's so much brighter now  
That you're dreaming it with me

Yes, my heart is lighter now  
And it was because of you


	5. Chaos Control

chaos control

the clock rots slowly  
As its hands spin;  
Revolution

Our eyes dull  
With each passing second  
And the colors fade  
Towards neutrality  
And an infinitely dark place,  
Not yet proved to exist

We hear less  
Than yesterday,  
Than this morning,  
Than we did  
Last time  
Our senses failed

Heartbeats  
Lose their rhythm  
As our drummers  
Lose their way,  
While our judgement  
Seems to flee,  
And amnesia  
Befriends us,  
Aware of our naivety

We grow weak  
With the winds  
That take their trips  
Around the world  
And come back, cold,  
From all they've seen,  
From all they've heard,  
And whisper it, in secret,  
To the now-grown children  
We've become with age

I'd like the power  
Of chaos control  
To regulate the insanity  
Of time counting down  
But I've realized it's futile  
To hold onto hope  
When we do nothing ourselves  
To make it reality


	6. Bruises

bruises

The golden moon hangs high. A bruise cuts the sky in half.  
Clouds fail their mission. Stars hide under a blanket of light,  
given off by the lonely city, where I sleep tonight.

I wonder  
why I hate you, when I like you so, and I say it doesn't matter;  
we're not "us" anymore.

Lay down on your lies and sleep  
with what you kept or gave me falsely: Hope that the world  
would soon collapse, the shadows would rip, and we'd hold hands,  
every second 'til the end.

Maybe I'm  
a fool, but I don't understand. When we're alone, the world  
stops spinning, and I want you back, how I always dreamed you.

Now those same dreams haunt me on darkening afternoons,  
where I have hours to think up all the reasons I'm alone. And  
I'll fail until I find the world's end and look back at you,  
in the distance, from where I'll stand then, with another  
by my side, and our footsteps drawn together, and our half-hearts  
intertwined. Time to move on.


	7. Failing Lungs

failing lungs

The skies are hung  
From giant gallows  
Tears in their eyes,  
Gray thoughts spreading

Gales take time  
To beat me senseless  
On the path to realization  
While I wander, unaware,  
That I fool myself  
To think  
I'm walking straight

Under storms  
My eyes are blank  
Like holes  
Full of cobwebs  
Rotten from under use

Behind the veil  
Lie certain thoughts  
I think  
Too radical  
To say

Like fire,  
I burn inside  
Deeper felt than seen  
Where my heart  
Holds reign  
Over the romantic  
I claim to be

There I see me  
For what I really am  
But lose it  
Like a thunder  
That chooses  
Not to linger

Each time  
I take a gulp,  
The air fills  
My failing lungs  
And each time  
You're here  
I'm gone

To dusk, I run,  
With a mind to disappear  
A bag of forgiveness,  
My conscience clear

Both eyes shut,  
I fall, spinning  
At the center  
Of all questions  
And all the answers  
Kill me cold

But I knew  
Without a doubt  
That when it died  
I'd want it back  
And curse  
For not being  
Strong enough  
To take it

So here I am  
With thoughts in hand,  
A pen to write,  
Paper to fill  
Yet I don't know  
Which words I want  
To spill in black  
From the veins  
That stretch  
And bleed,  
Every time  
I breathe,  
Alone


	8. Remember the Roses

remember the roses

Remember the roses  
That bled passion in red  
On their own thorns  
A ghost of a bouquet

Black petals  
Lustful for verve  
That decayed over time  
Gave up on the eternity  
Of infinite street lights

Lingering smoke  
Like unanswered questions  
Crushed my mind with pressure  
When I inhaled dark thoughts,  
Ignored consequence

Closed one eye  
Then closed the other  
We'll never live right  
If we live this way  
But I need you  
In my arms

If a door  
Was all that secured  
What I look for  
Somewhere I couldn't reach  
Then you'd be the key  
You'd be the answer  
You'd be the one

Let's sleep tonight  
Questions running away  
Forget all our troubles  
Let's stay this way,  
I need you


	9. Life is a Spectrum

life is a spectrum

Fear not the black  
For black is mourning and yet  
It is life.  
Black is pain,  
But it means you are alive.

Embrace the blue  
For blue is like an open ocean  
Your journey  
Filled with possibilities.

Relish the green  
For green are the new plants  
Of spring  
Ready to flourish in full bloom  
For the summer.

Smile at the yellow  
For yellow is the rising sun  
A sign of hope and expectation,  
What makes the morning rise.

Taste the orange  
For orange is like the fruit:  
Ripe,  
Juicy.

Love the red  
For red is love  
And without love  
Our world would be pure hate  
And emptiness.

Tolerate the purple  
For purple is healing  
Just like a bruise  
As it returns to normality.

Praise the white  
For white is pure  
Untouched  
And ready to explore.

Thus,  
Life in all is  
Darkness,  
Light,  
Beauty,  
Ugliness,  
Of all colors,  
A spectrum.


End file.
